March 27, 2004

Attention Richard Clarke, this is reality calling.

When you change your story so you can sell more books, why are you so surprised when people start calling you a liar?

And why is the big story the fact that the White House is trying to show that Clarke is lying, instead of pointing out the fact that he is?

I somehow doubt that Al Queida is holding committee meetings to find out who is responsible for their recent failures.

March 13, 2004

File this under "so inconceivably moronic  that I find it hard to fathom that people are stupid enough to think it, let alone believe it"

From http://www.cosmosleft.com/pages/8/ : (Yes, they're quoting a different source..but reading idiocy once is plenty for me, thank you)

Political essayist Voxfux (www.voxfux.com) makes the provocative point that if a foreign army's tanks rumbled down Pennsylvania Avenue and killed George Bush, 100 million Americans would rejoice. That's a fact. Deal with it. And just like the Iraqis, we'd be kicking ourselves that it took a foreign army to do it.

Are there people truly stupid enough to believe this? Does the hatred from the left wingnuts truly go this deep?

I would write more, but I think the lunacy of the statement is self-evident.

March 10, 2004

Every once in a while...not often, but occasionally...someone will let me know that they read something on my website & really liked it.

It's those few, precious moments I live for. This web site is something that is completely mine; my thoughts, my ideas, my writing. I add to it as my whimsy decides. I don't edit it, or change things, or move items around to please the grammar police. It's me, unplugged.

And it's always cool to touch someone.

March 5, 2004

The phone system that I administrate at work has 8 incoming lines. These lines have 8 separate numbers, all of them in sequence. You know, like (555) 555-1111, (555) 555-1112, etc.

When people make a call out of our building it is one of these numbers that will show up on caller ID.

Yesterday I received an email from one of my users today that read something like this:

"Who answer the phone when someone dials into one of our outside numbers? If someone dials our phone number (555) 555-1110, who answers?"

I thought it was a joke at first. When I realized it wasn't I sent a reply:

"Pick up your phone. Dial 9 for an outside line. Dial (555) 555-1112; when someone picks up say "Who is this?" and you'll have your answer".

Why did this solution elude the person?

February 21, 2004

The big news item recently seems to be gay marriages. It's amusing; every time I hear someone trying to explain to me why gays shouldn't be able to marry it sounds just like the arguments that were given during the civil rights movement.

Actual arguments I've heard:

We can't let gays marry because it would lead to anarchy. Gays can't marry because it's forbidden in the Bible. Gays can't marry because marriage is an institution between a man and a woman.  Gays can't marry because it's a slippery slope, and eventually someone will want to marry his sister. Gays shouldn't marry because it would weaken the sanctity of marriage.

All of these arguments are, in a word, stupid. Let's take them one by one:

"We can't let gays marry because it would lead to anarchy"

And giving the woman the vote would lead to anarchy. And giving equal rights to minorities would lead to anarchy. As a Country the United States is extraordinarily adaptable; allowing two people who love each other to marry one another isn't going to push us back, it will move us forward.

"Gays can't marry because it is forbidden in the Bible"

Whose Bible? Yours? As Nick Annis says in the preface to his song "God is Good":

"It's an oral history. It was passed down, word-of-mouth, father to son, from Adam to Seth, from Seth to Enos, from Enos to Cainan, for 40 generations, a growing, changing, story, it was handed down, word-of-mouth, father to son. Until Moses finally gets it down on lambskin. But lambskins wear out, and need to be recopied. Copies of copies of copies of copies of copies of copies of copies of an oral history passed down through 40 generations. 
From Hebrew it's translated into Arabic, from Arabic to Latin, from Latin to Greek, from Greek to Russian, from Russian to German, from German to an old form of English that you could not read. Through 400 years of evolution of the English language to the book we have today, which is: a translation of a translation of a translation of a translation of a translation of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of an oral history passed down through 40 generations. 

You can't put a grocery list through that many translations, copies, and re-telling, and not expect to have some big changes in the dinner menu when the kids make it back from Kroger's. 

And yet people are killing each other over this written word. Here's a tip: If you're killing someone in the name of God — you're missing the message."

I would think that if you are trying to keep apart two people who love each other, you're still missing the message.

"Gays can't marry because marriage is an institution between a man and a woman"

According to whom? If two people are in love and want to get married why does it matter if they are of the same sex?

Marriage is an institution of two people who care for one another making a commitment to each other. To deny this to people who happen to be of the same sex is ignorant.

"Gays can't marry because it's a slippery slope, and eventually someone will want to marry his sister"

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have left the area of the sublime and are now beginning our journey into the realm of the ridiculous. 

I'm certain there are people out there now that want to marry their sister. Or their dog, or their car or their television set.  

But that's not what these folks want. They want to love each other, marry each other and make the commitment that marriage brings. 

What is everyone so afraid of?

"Gays shouldn't marry because it would weaken the sanctity of marriage."

This is the most amusing of all the arguments. If Steve and Rick want to get married I fail to see how that can affect the sanctity of my marriage. It won't affect me & my relationship at all.

If marriage could be affected by outside sources I think people would need to start looking at things like Michael Jackson's marriage to Priscilla Presley, and Britney Spear's 28 hour marriage. Those would be the items that would threaten the "sanctity of marriage" far more that a same sex couple would.

It's time to grow up, America. Far too long have we allowed puritan influences to guide us while ignoring common sense. We allow people to let their kids starve to death in the name of religion; we watch as the so called mystics take money from the gullible; every day on television you see people begging for money from their 10 million dollar church. 

There are people out there willing to make a commitment to one another, that love each other & want nothing more than the little slip of paper that says they're married. 

What are you so afraid of?

January 28th, 2004

Today I heard a replay of the tape of Betty Ong, one of the flight attendants on American Airlines Flight 11 during the September 11th hijackings.

 Far from hysterics she sounded nervous, but composed. During the conversation she discovers her #1 and #5 (two other flight attendants) have been stabbed, and mentions that she can't get into business class because the hijackers may have sprayed mace there. Throughout the entire conversation she is incredibly well composed, considering what is happening with her.

I remember the media at the time reporting that the plane was in chaos, and that this flight attendant was "hysterical" and "shrieking".

The conversation ends with the phone going dead. An eerie ending to a conversation that took place over 2 years ago. Ms. Ong was able to show us the truth from her grave.

So did the media get it right the first time? Judge for yourself.

January 27, 2004

Got an email form a friend today, one of those questionnaires folks seems so fond of sending out these days. It amazed me when I read it, so I figured I would talk about it here.

Some of the email was of a personal nature; that's not what inspires me to write. Part of the introduction paragraph reads:

" I want you to consider this to be confidential between us with no need for further discussion of your responses."

Well, no way on earth are my responses going to appear on this web page. I'm more interested in talking about the letter itself, not the specific responses.

But then the letter states:

"They are phrased in a positive way because I need to know my strengths, not my weaknesses, as others see me."

So we start of with a premise that isn't going to work. I want to discover things about myself, but I only want positive feedback? I don't want to hear anything bad? I'm thinking that, if the idea of this appeals to someone, they're going to ignore any answers they don't want to hear. Or if they don't understand something I've written, bummer....since there's no further response there is no further discussion or clarification. Lovely.

Since I don't believe in the premise I'm thinking I probably shouldn't respond. But that's not how I'm put together; someone asked for my opinion, I'll give it to them. So I pondered, and wondered, and tried to think of truthful and honest answers to all the questions & discovered something interesting; there are a lot of things I don't know about my friends.

Let's look at the questions:

1. Please describe something that I consistently do well
 

Can anyone answer this, unless you have a hobby you do together? Honestly, how often do you see someone do something consistently, let alone consistently well?

2. Please name one thing you have seen me do well

Again, a difficult question to answer if you're friendship consists mainly of chatting, and you try and keep work & personal stuff separated.

3. Please tell me the best thing about how I look
 

How is this going to improve anyone? You're all beautiful, every one of you. There's my answer.

4. In as much detail as possible, can you remember any time that I seemed to be happiest

One of the few questions I liked.

5. Tell me what you think my strongest traits are

Here's where we can run in to problems. What if I think one of the strongest traits a person has is their ability to cover up body odor? Or something else that may not usually be perceived as a strong trait? I can answer it, but according to the rules I'm not allowed to explain it if they have any questions.

6. If you were going to describe my best strengths in three words, what would they be
7. If you were in a situation in which you thought I could help you in some way, what would that situation be
8. Can you tell me an aspect you respect about me
 

No problem with these three questions. I can see using them to try and get an idea of oneself.

9. If you had to describe me as a car, what kind of car would I be? Why?

10. If you had to describe me as an animal, what kind of animal would I be? Why?

I really hate these questions, some Barbara Walters wannabe tries to look like a journalistic genius. You're not a car or a tree, you are a human being. The highest form of life on this planet, why would you want to be anything else?

That was pretty much it. So someone got my answers, but it won't do them any good whatsoever. Because they didn't get my answers, they got their interpretation of my answers.

In the end I hope it helps them find whatever it is they're looking for. IT was a difficult thing for me to do & I hope they don't think I dashed off a few quick notes just to keep them quiet.

January 25th, 2004

I had lunch a few days ago with some folks from the shop. We were discussing children & how to raise them; he was of the opinion that most kids are going to try a drink when they're younger, or try something else that's stupid.

I hope my kids don't, but realistically....they're human, so I have to accept the fact that they might.

One thing he said kind of stuck with me so I'm certain I'll use it when I speak with my kids in the future.

"Kids", I'll say. "I can protect you through a lot of things. I can bail you out of jail, I can fix your wounds, I can talk with you and try and work out the problems in your life. But there are a couple of things I can't do: I can't bring you back to life, and I can't make you walk again. If you EVER get behind the wheel of a vehicle when you're intoxicated I will make your life miserable. If you EVER get in a car when someone at the wheel is intoxication, I will make your life miserable. If you call me to avoid these things then there will be problems, but I can guarantee you that they will be miniscule compared to what will happen if I find out you were driving drunk, or let someone else drive you drunk."

I hope the lesson sinks in. I've always believed that you really can't make the world right for your kids, you have to make your kids right for the world.

January 14th, 2004

So many of us have been hurt in a relationship at some point in our life. It always hurts, and we wonder if we'll ever get over it. The questions are constant and nagging: Will I love again? Will I feel again? Can I find what I once had? Is the magic out there?

Then, later,  it happens. It could be months or even years later, but we discover someone who can once again touch our heart. They make us feel like we could love again, and the questions change. Can I love THIS person? Why do I feel the way I do? Have I found what I once had? Is this magic?

Over time our we discover the answer to these questions. Now here's the food for thought: Imagine, if you will, that you have thought these things. And you've discovered that the answers are all positive.

But you've been hurt in the past, so very badly hurt. Do you open yourself up once again, leave yourself vulnerable? Do you try for love again?

I've been in that position. I took the chance, and I have been incredibly happy for a decade now. But I think back and wonder....what if she had said no? What if the joy of my life didn't love me the way I love her?

Would I ever have risked loving someone after that? Would I make myself that vulnerable once again? Would I even look for someone?

I think about these questions and I can only answer "yes". Knowing how happy my wife has made me for the past 10 years I know that would be worth any risk. I wouldn't care how many times I got hurt along the way, the destination would be worth any journey.

I love my wife. She loves me.

It's an incredible feeling.